"Shae, I think you misunderstood me last time. I meant that the girl who talks to shit's character's name was Jay."
(there is a pause)
"Wow, that is a dyke name."
"I'm sad, 'cause Michelle Federerererererer's leaving Broadway, and I'll never have gotten to see her! She's like, the icon of the show. I thought she was still gonna be Nessa when she was grey. It's depressing."
"I know, what will she ever do without the show? She'll get, like, really depressed. Oh my god, she's gonna become best friends with Anthony, isn't she? Shae, we have to have an intervention or something! She can't be BFF with Anthony, he'll make her sit around all day in her bathrobe!"
"Replying anonymously to bad Wicked reviews!"
"Oh my god, they're gonna be totally BFF! Why, Shae, why?!"
"MEL, OH MY GOD, YOUR GAY FRESHMAN FRIEND IS THE BOY FROM OHIO."
"Ask him if he's from Ohio. No, seriously, do it. Just, nonchalant."
"Like, 'Hey, kid, ever been to OHIO?!?!'"
"No, really, he's so gay that if you're within a two foot radius of him, a little bit of gay rubs off on you... Which might explain me. BUT HE WON'T STOP FLIRTING WITH ME. WHY?!"
"[So tell me. About Wonderfalls. 'Cause it actually sounds good, especially with Tracie being the wisecrackin' best friend and all.]" (Paraphrased, for sanity's sake. Does sanity really have a sake with us, though? It's something to ponder.)
"Well, there's this one scene, where Jay's a bitch, and her mom's making pancakes, and she's like, all WASP-y, and 'Jay, have some pancakes.' And Jay's like, 'No, fool.' But then her little china figurine who's totally her lover is like 'Have some pancakes, dumbass.' And Jay totally has pancakes."
"Joa-- OH MY GOD-- Tracie's character always tells Jay she's a bitch, too. She's like, 'Wow, you're a bitch.'"
"Mel, what is Tracie's character's name? So, you know, we stop calling her Joanne."
"... Mahondra. What. The Fuck. Tracie, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!"
Ahhhhh, Mel. Why do we exist?
Jesus Christ, we're insane.
Current Music: MoJo Mix