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16 March 2006 @ 07:36 pm
Anthony's Penis. Or, our conversation of 59 minutes and 42 seconds.  
"You know what I really want to see? Hedwig and the Angry Inch."
"Me too. Except I always get confused as to whether it's Inch or Itch. Because I've seen it both ways."
"It's Inch! Because there's one inch of penis!"
"Okay, most blunt explanation ever. But seriously, that's what the whole show is about. It doesn't belong to any character. It's just a one inch penis with wings! It flies around the stage, doing nothing."
"It's name is Anthony Rapp!"

"Because you know, Anthony only has one inch of penis."
"Rodney keeps has the rest of it in a drawer. Because he bit it off. Because, obviously, he's become some sort of Asian vampire."

"Did you pee? Was it a successful mission?"
"Ahaha, Shae, Anthony never has a successful mission, because he sees that he has no penis and he cries!"
"Wait, hold on, let me type that!"
"Shae, are you actually transcribing our conversations? I feel like I'm being watched by a government agency."
"It's like I belong to... what is it? No Child Left Behind!"
"No, it's not! That's just about Anthony's penis! Because it always gets left behind!"

"I saw Tori Amos here! I wonder if she left her flower smoking pot thing?"

"My brain is totally sparkly. Except for the parts that are sad, those parts are green. Because Elphaba's emo!"

"I'm such a nerd. I'm a bitter, bitter nerd."

"It's tru-- OH MY GOD."

"My secret... is that Tim Curry actually scares me."
"Aww. Hey, look, lot's of pictures of Tim Curry!"
"Mel, have you ever seen Rocky Horror? We should watch it. Tim Curry's a transvestite, and his lips are a force of nature."
"Ahahaha, oh, Angel. 'Mah parents kicked me ouuuuttt.'"
"Yes, 'But then I found Rocky Horror, and I became a sweet transvestite.'"

"Oh, Sara Ramirez. You're so awesome on Grey's."
"Shae, Sara should be on X-Men! She would be an awesome mutant. And George would be like... the sweet cuddly mutant who everyone loves! All of Grey's Anatomy should be on X-Men!"
"Mutant Hospital!"
"Oh, my god, yes, because it already is! It would be a medical soap opera with powers, because it's really already just a soap opera, they only added powers as an excuse for existing. And Mutant Hospital would be about slutty interns with powers, because that's all Grey's Anatomy is about."
"Fredi would produce it."

"Anthony Rapp's penis is strangely similar to Professor X. It is crippled and alone, in a wheelchair, void of its mutant powers. And sometimes, every now and then, it gets up and walks around, but no one ever finds out."
"Mel, you totally know that's what Rodney's nickname for Anthony's penis is. PROFESSOR X."
"Oh my god, Shae, I'm never going to be able to watch X-Men again without picturing Professor X as some giant penis in a wheelchair!"

"THEY DO. Because Chris Columbus is both of them, like totally some Hitler."
"OH LORD, he's Hitler!"

"Oh god, I can't breathe."
"We're so cracked out. Seriously, we're so much more cracked out than usual. I think Mimi... cracked us... with infections of love."
"Infections of Love! It's like Seasons of Love, but so much better!"
"Oh my god, you know what would be the best thing ever? If all the drug addicts came out and sang Seasons of Love! Only it was Infections of Love! And then Maureen came out like, 'I want to sing!' Only Joanne was like, 'Will you have sex with me, instead?' Because THAT'S ALL THEY EVER DO."

"I'm not bothering with type anymore, I'm just making a list."
"Why are you so OCD?! My god! Wait, why am I accusing you of that?"

"What the crap is this gallery? 'The Last Ten Years'? What the fuck is that?"
"What's that supposed to be? Like, a much longer, much more angsty telling of the marriage of Jamie and... oh my god, what was her name? Sally? Wait, no! Why can't I remember her name?! Oh, Cathy. Did Sara play Cathy in the new and improved L5Y?"
"I hope it's not, that would be ghetto."
"Shae, they get married! And divorced! Again! Because they never had sex. And you totally know they didn't."
"They didn't, for real."
"OH MY GOD, Mel! It's Adam Pascaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal! With Sara Ramirez!"
"Did he play Jamie? No wait, he played Cathy!"
"Adam, you're such a woman! Jesus."
"Come on, he's got the eyelashes for it!"

"Mel we've been talking for 54 minutes and 22 seconds and counting!"
"Why are you a government agent?!... And that's almost an hour! I love how I can't math."

"Stay on the line, Mel! We're almost there, Mel! Almost there!"
"I have to goooooooooo! My phone's beeping continuously!"
"So, to review! This is my list!
-Mutant hospital
-soap opera powers
-slutty intern
-Professor X- wheelchair
-giant penis in wheelchair
-CC is Hitler
-Infections of Love
"I think the last one is definitely my favorite. It wins at everything."
Current Mood: hyperhyper
icybright on March 18th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)